I’ve been there. All Rights Reserved. Spade and Bourdain died of an illness that had nothing to do with the circumstances of their lives. I get through the first scene, but it’s as if I am watching everyone else through a pane of glass. He is an actor, known for The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015), SpongeBob SquarePants (1999) and The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004). Depression is not a mood. It was all Paige could do to get me to my medical appointments. It was fear.

Check out some of the IMDb editors' favorites movies and shows to round out your Watchlist. That there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I have not slept more than a few hours at a time for the past month, and I know I am keeping Paige awake too. ... no voice, no access to the emotions or the imagination. Bill Fagerbakke was born on October 4, 1957 in Fontana, California, USA as William Mark Fagerbakke. Everyone feels they have been depressed because everyone has been deeply sad. Dread as a physical sensation–like the onset of a sneeze or a vomit. But I no longer weep uncontrollably because I believe I am worthless and deserve to die.

In Manhattan when January comes the snow covered city seems to be shot in black and white, like those old Life Magazine photos of The Great Depression. I’ve had it most of my life. He has been married to Catherine McClenahan since 1989.

I had been afraid. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >>

As my friend Harvey Fierstein brilliantly said, “All it wants to do is get you alone in a room and kill you.”. %PDF-1.3 The standout performance comes from Patrick Page who, as Hades, has a voice that seems to issue, appropriately, from the depths-New Guardian. I needed an actor to tell me that my Art would survive the meds. © 2020 Patrick Page. It would be exciting to have an audience for the first time. The holiday lights are gone, along with the tourists and their pastels, and the city is drained of color, dressed in black, laid out like a corpse in a casket lined in muddy white velvet. I feel appropriate emotions all the time. Patrick Page Shares His Personal Struggle with Depression; Reflects on Deaths of Kate Spade & Anthony Bourdain. Never been late to a rehearsal. I had been hiding. I might have told him anti-depressants had worked for me after 20 years of psychotherapy and suffering.

I am depressed even though I have a loving and incredible wife. And it wasn’t just grief keeping me awake. Never let on that I was frequently in agonizing pain. The difficulty is that I cannot imagine ever feeling well again. Depressives can fake it better than Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally”. The inability to experience joy or happiness is its hallmark. I don’t experience a single moment of comfort, joy or peace all day long. Today’s symptoms include irrational crying jags (embarrassing when they happen, as one did today, on the subway), generalized physical pain, tightness in my throat like strangulation, and an inability to take a full breath. Depression is an illness shared by about 9 percent of adults in America, including me.

I’m better now. In over twenty years of recurring and crippling depressions I had never missed a performance. Perhaps I can use this feeling to tap more deeply into Claudius’ shame and self-hatred.

Patrick Page is one of Broadway’s outstanding actors, having starred in some of the Great White Way’s most popular plays and musicals stream We need a new word for the illness called depression.

It’s a horror I wouldn’t wish on Joseph Goebbels.”. Without it there is no relaxation, no freedom, no voice, no access to the emotions or the imagination. And-full disclosure– there were years of dangerous substance abuse as I attempted to self-medicate my symptoms. It took patience. If it was done at the last second no one could ever really be sure whether it was an accident or on purpose. Nothing. Bill Fagerbakke was born on October 4, 1957 in Fontana, California, USA as William Mark Fagerbakke. And so, spurred on by the recent and senseless death of one of our most brilliant and beloved artists, I offer these words to you, my fellow players: If, like so many of us, you have been suffering this horror in secret and in silence, in the fear that medication will deaden your feelings, I hope these words might encourage you to avail yourself of the nearly miraculous treatment now available to you. I need a doctor.”. For the first time in my life, I had to drop out of a show. The easiest way, of course, is with pills—I have plenty of Ambien, Tramadol, muscle relaxers, beta blockers and alcohol. See photos of celebrities like Scarlett Johansson and Leonardo DiCaprio before they hit the big-time, and revisit their earliest onscreen roles. I am depressed even though both my parents are living and I was able to take them to London last month.

Instantly, I am surrounded by people looking down at me. Four years ago, when Robin Williams died, I first wrote on this subject. My situation this year is worse than I can remember. Patrick Page (born April 27, 1962) is an American actor, low bass singer, and playwright. I don’t know your history with depression but the stigma attached to illness is exactly the thing that can prevent people from seeking help.

I’m sobbing hysterically and repeating over and over “I’m sorry. Sadness is the natural response to bad circumstances. Your perfect lover? I hadn’t known Jason well. And Patrick, sometime down the line, when you next tackle Leontes or MacBeth or one one of those boys – you will bring a depth of compassion and understanding to the role previously unavailable to you. Reading that entry now, I’m amazed at the clarity of the thoughts.

Today is scheduled for a run-through of the first half of the show for designers and staff. No one knew, except my therapist and my wife. As Dick Cavett said “A depression is a dip in the road. Before the run-through I approach Gertrude to let her know that if I act remote or distant it is because I am not feeling well. He was a Depressive–like me. there will Never Ever be another cartoon like Spongebob Squarepants. I had just finished playing King Henry In A Man For All Seasons and was rehearsing to play Claudius in “Hamlet” at Theatre For A New Audience. The night his suicide was revealed I slept very little.

The final symptom is dread. Then, when the snow melts, it’s just grey. How to get through the day without anyone knowing I feel my sanity is slipping? He also played Menenius in Red Bull Theater's Coriolanus. For the next several weeks I was bedridden.

In addition to being one of New York’s leading actors, Patrick Page has been a celebrated acting teacher for over 25 years. And I am depressed even though I have been in therapy for twenty years in an effort to fight it. Patrick Page, Actor: Flesh and Bone. They have two … I need a doctor. SpongeBob SquarePants: Lights, Camera, Pants! An Act of God (Jun 06, 2016 - Sep 04, 2016) Performer: Patrick Page [Voice of God] Play Comedy Original. A trip anywhere in the world? This time, in addition to the all consuming heaviness and torpor, I feel an oncoming rush of panic. But I had been ashamed. But sadness is not depression. The final symptom is dread.

Today’s reverie is of jumping in front of the express train. Dread as a certainty that tomorrow will be worse than today. The need to scream and weep is pulsing inside of me-as undeniable as the need to release the bowels when one has diarrhea, or the urge to vomit when one is nauseous–but I hold it back and retreat to my corner next to my big green parka underneath the ballet bar. In my case I am depressed even though I recently worked opposite one of my idols—Frank Langella– on Broadway. Click here for more information about his current and upcoming classes. We’re the only ones who get to take our most private suffering and make something new and better with it. This last symptom is the most pervasive and the most troubling-the constant feeling of suffocation puts me in a fight or flight state of mind. I might have mattered. Closer to horror than to grief, a feeling like a stomach full of old newspaper soaked in dirty ice-water. The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper, SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob SquarePants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, SpongeBob SquarePants: Employee of the Month, SpongeBob SquarePants: Operation Krabby Patty, Roughnecks: The Starship Troopers Chronicles, Disney's Animated Storybook: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Into the Woods/Krumm Gets the Dreaded Nolox, Monster Make-Over/Airplane, a Wing and a Scare.

He is an actor, known for Flesh and Bone (2015), The Good Wife (2009) and Saint Mary's Secret. I will just have to get through it.

Suicide fantasies help a little, but I have to be careful-careful never to tell Paige, or my shrink, or anyone else -(enforced hospitalization is my greatest fear) and careful never to let the fantasies become so attractive that acting on them becomes easier than not acting on them.

It happened suddenly, during an interview with The New York Times conducted by Patrick Healy. It took a long time to get my medications right. Claudius is a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown and so am I. %��������� Spring Awakening (Sep 27, 2015 - Jan 24, 2016) Also Starring: Patrick Page [Herr Sonnenstich, Herr Rilow, Father Kaulbach, Doctor Von Brausepulver, Herr Gabor] Musical Drama Sign Language Revival. Your favorite food?

Looking for some great streaming picks? I know my depression is lurking just around the corner-waiting. She would certainly be better off if I were gone. 4 0 obj The Stars of SpongeBob Fan Favorites Special, Square Roots: The Story of SpongeBob SquarePants, Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards 2020: Celebrate Together, The Voices of SpongeBob and Patrick Find Out Which Characters They Really Are, Nickelodeon's West Coast Headquarters Grand Opening, Everybody's Talking: The Voices of Spongebob Squarepants. I am depressed even though I am playing a leading Shakespearean role at a major New York Theatre. – Financial Times Enter Hades, played with an air both sinister and suave by Patrick Page. It takes a second or two for me to realize the sound coming from my own mouth. It claims its victims by suicide. He has been married to Paige Davis since October 27, 2001. He was writing a feature story that would cover my life and career.

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